A part of us dies when our baby is born still, and yet there is a chance for a part of our baby to live on. Not all parents of stillborn infants will get this chance to make a difference in the life of another mother's child, but for those who do it can be a very gratifying and comforting act. We're talking about the decision to consent for donation of your baby's heart valves.

When our daughter was stillborn the hospital staff presented us with this opportunity, as they're required to in many states. It was hardly necessary for my wife and me to speak a word. We knew in an instant that this was the right thing to do, to offer a life lost in order that another mother's child might be saved.

There is a 24-hour window-of-opportunity from the time of fetal death (not delivery) beyond which the heart valves cannot be used and so the decision is not one parents would be able to "sleep on". In the case of our baby, our consent to donate was requested about 18 hours after her death. As the Donor Network of Arizona was preparing Camille for the procedure, a freak lightning storm knocked out their power. By the time it came back on a few hours later, too much time had elapsed so we were denied the satisfaction of knowing Camille had saved another baby's life. But at least we were able to take comfort in the knowledge we tried, Camille, her mother and me.

There is nothing that needs to be done to prepare for this eventuality. If a woman suffers a stillbirth and the baby is a candidate for donation, the hospital staff will make the request. All we suggest is that mothers and fathers understand they mean no disrespect by asking; the decision is a very personal one and there is no right or wrong answer. It's just something to consider.