After death, couple wait for baby's birth

Janie Magruder
The Arizona Republic
Jul. 17, 2003 12:00 AM

Teri Watkins spent the first five months of her pregnancy vomiting. Married less than a year and struggling to finish college in Idaho, she wondered whether it was too much, too soon.

And then Watkins heard the heartbeat.

"That changed everything for me. I was a mom!"

But when her baby was born June 16, 2002, the heartbeat stopped. The 8-pound, 14-ounce, 24-inch-long girl had an atrial septal defect, a congenital heart problem that was undetected in two ultrasound tests. Samantha Lee's lungs filled with blood from the hole in her heart, and she never took a breath.

She is among 70 babies who are stillborn every day in the United States.

"You never talk about stillbirth," said Watkins, 24. "You read about it, but you've never known someone who had a stillbirth. I felt totally unprepared."

Watkins and her husband, Jacob, 23, cradled and sang to their perfect, dark-haired infant. They planned her memorial service, endured the awkward comments of well-meaning people and buried her at the foot of her grandfather's grave in Heyburn, Idaho, beneath a headstone carved with lilies and butterflies.

The couple moved to Gilbert last fall and agonized about trying again. Six months after Samantha's death, Watkins became pregnant; a girl is due in October.

"I realized that the one thing I really wanted was a baby to hold. I didn't want to go through another Christmas without one."

Physically, this pregnancy has gone more smoothly, and doctors are closely monitoring the baby's heart. Emotionally, Watkins says, touching her swelling belly, she's a wreck.

"I'm concerned about what people think, whether we're doing this to replace her or that it's too soon. I never heard my baby cry, and until I hear a good old scream, I'm probably going to be panicky."


Reach the reporter at (602) 444-8998.

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